The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My breasts were aching with rage.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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