Yo dont text me then not text me
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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