I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
