dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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