He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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