I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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