Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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