i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize