I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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