You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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