I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
