I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
