The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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