I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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