Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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