i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
