also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
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With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
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The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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