At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What drink are we having for lunch?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
