i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She's the barista slut.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
