i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
