It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
