Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
