What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
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if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
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Can't talk, ducks in the car
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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