I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
