wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Hippo gnu deer
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Ladies don't puke and tell
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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