quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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