sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize