dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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