I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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