We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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