is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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