I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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