Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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