i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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