Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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