You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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