we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
