im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
false alarm, still single
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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