she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
