I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
