I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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