a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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