she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
