I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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