At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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