just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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