Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
