i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
