Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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