that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
