we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
