Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
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did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
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He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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