Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Got a toothbrush?
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You made out with two different species that night
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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