So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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