i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
