Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
