You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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