toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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