What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
