I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
