Sry I called you an 8
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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